MISSION: RESOLVE(ing) to be Kind.

By Secret Agent L // Missions // 2 Comments

I have a confession to make: I have never felt called to be a mother. I have a lot of friends, however, who have been called to motherhood and are well on their ways to growing their families. For me, I sort of feel left out. But in some ways, it’s a choice I’ve made that I can, if I want, reverse. For some women (and their partners), having children is a dream that they find is hard to fulfill due to infertility. I can’t imagine how difficult and frustrating that must be.

Affiliated Agent K has opened my eyes to what those who deal with infertility are going through. She introduced me (and you!) to RESOLVE, a national organization dedicated to infertility awareness. And her kindness speaks volumes through her mission. (I’m dabbing my eyes as I type this.)

DATE:
Friday, 21 October 2011

OPERATIVE:
Affiliated Agent K

LOCATION:
women’s restroom attached to ultrasound room
Reproductive Endocrinology Department
Magee Women’s Hospital
Pittsburgh, PA

TIME:
not specified

On 10/21, my husband and I started our journey to a family. We are one in eight couples, dealing with infertility. We have chosen a doctor at Magee who specializes in infertility to help us to have a child.

There is still so much stigma surrounding IF. Women don’t talk about it, because it makes us feel like we’re not real women if we can’t reproduce. We avoid family functions where there will be kids. We turn off the lights and pretend we’re not home on Halloween, because ONE MORE KID in a cute costume will lead to heartbreak. We walk a fine line between rejoicing for our friends who are able to become pregnant “the old fashioned way” and mourning for ourselves because we will likely never experience that moment without scientific intervention.

And so, on the morning of one of my tests, I chose to give back. The doctor’s office is always so quiet, as people wait for tests and results and procedures. You can feel the stress in the air. And fertility treatments are expensive, and there’s minimal — if any — insurance coverage available. So, I thought that I would take the opportunity to do something nice for a fellow patient who may be saving every penny to achieve their dream, while giving them the tools to care for themselves.

I bought a $25 gift card to Bath and Body Works, and a Secret Agent L magnet. I placed them in a Quotable Quotes card, with a quote on the front to remind the recipient that she is stronger than she might feel at the moment, then wrote my own message.

I placed the card in the bathroom attached to the ultrasound room at the Reproductive Endocrinologist’s office. There were plenty of people scheduled for testing that day, so I had no doubt that someone would find it and take it. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel comfortable taking my camera into the bathroom, so there aren’t pictures. I hope that it was taken and used by someone to treat themselves to a beautiful scent or candle to help them along their journey.

RESOLVE is a national organization dedicated to infertility awareness. Together with Redbook Magazine, they have launched The Truth About Trying, which is designed to de-stigmatize infertility. They are also in the process of gathering signatures on a petition to request that infertility be covered under the new Essential Health Benefits created by the government.

The RESOLVE website is awesome, not just for the infertile couple, but for their friends and family. Please, take a moment to visit them at www.resolve.org and find out more about what you can do to help.