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GIVEAWAY CONTEST! Next to Normal
UPDATE: Because my brain is fried and I’m currently unaware of which end is up, I originally made the contest deadline for March 25th, which I thought was a week after I originally posted this online. Turns out, I was a week ahead of myself! Yowza! So, I’ve changed the contest deadline to THIS FRIDAY, March 18th. I will post the winners on Monday, March 21st. Sorry for the confusion! ::heads to her bed to take a nap::
If you’ve been following the Secret Agent L Project for awhile now, you know that I’m very passionate about mental illness awareness. A family member close to me suffers from a very severe form of the illness, which has had a profound impact on my life for the past twenty-three years. In fact, mental illness affects one in four families. It’s much more common than many people realize. If I can help erase the stigma associated with mental illness, create community and inclusiveness, and let others know they are not alone, then my life has been worth it.
Recently, I was approached by the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust about collaborating with them on the Pittsburgh run of the Tony-Award winning Broadway hit, NEXT TO NORMAL. The show, directed by Michael Greif (who also directed Rent), centers around a family trying to take care of themselves and each other, while one of the members struggles with a serious mental illness.
As a professional actor, and a classical musician, I find it so incredibly important that works of art such as Broadway shows tackle the difficult and often messy parts of life that we sometimes don’t want to talk about. It’s one of the best ways we can start to heal. That’s why I am honored to collaborate with the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust and the National Tour of NEXT TO NORMAL.
The Pittsburgh Cultural Trust and the tour of NEXT TO NORMAL have given me five (5) pairs of tickets to give away as part of the Secret Agent L Project. Each pair of tickets is good for the 7:30 p.m. performance at the Benedum Center on Tuesday, April 5, 2011, only. The tickets are valued at $54 each, which brings the total value of the giveaway to $540. Generous? Absolutely. I heart them. BIG time.
To try to win a pair of tickets, you’re going to have to be brave. Here’s what I’m asking you to do:
1. In the comments section, tell me about an experience you’ve had with mental illness. It could be your own story, the story of a loved one or friend, or an encounter you may have had with someone with a mental illness. Or maybe it’s something new you’ve learned about mental illness recently. Whatever it is, share it with us here. And be brave.
2. Tell me how to contact you via email. You may comment using your real name (which will, in turn, ask for your email address which only I will be able to see). Or you may comment anonymously; just be sure to leave your email address in the comment.
3. Leave your comment by Friday, March 18, 2011, at 11:59 p.m.
4. I will choose five winners at random and announce the winners on Monday, March 21, 2011. Please only enter once so that everyone has a fair chance at winning. Only one set of tickets per household/family, please.
Still interested in seeing the Pittsburgh production of NEXT TO NORMAL but can’t participate in the giveaway contest for the April 5th tickets? Well, there’s good news! The show runs April 5-10, 2011, AND the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust has set up a discount code for Secret Agent L followers:
Use promo code KINDNESS to receive $10 off select seats for the Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday evening performances of NEXT TO NORMAL, April 5-10 at the Benedum Center. To redeem this discount, buy online , call 412-456-6666 or visit the Box Office at Theater Square.
Not from Pittsburgh? Not to worry!
NEXT TO NORMAL is on its first US tour. To find out where the show will be performed near you, visit their website. Please note: the “KINDNESS” promo code is only available for the Pittsburgh engagement.
For more information about mental illness awareness, visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness website.
Good luck!
40 Comments to “GIVEAWAY CONTEST! Next to Normal”
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I volunteered for the special ed program in high school. sophmore/junior year! it was humbling.
Funny though that this topic came up because I just happened to be flipping through the channels late last night as I have had a stomach bug, and came across a young lady who suffers from down syndrome, and is an actress on Glee. Now, I have heard great things about this show; but I have never myself watched it. But the clip caught my eye. She is a spokesperson for the campaign titled R-Word, Spread the Word to End the Word. There is a sight in which you can go onto and sign the pledge that says this:
I pledge and support the elimination of the derogatory use of the r-word from everyday speech and promote the acceptance and inclusion of people with intellectual disabilities.
The website is:http://www.r-word.org/
I urge everyone to go onto the sight, educate themselves and take the R WORD out of your vocabulary……
Thanks!
Tracy
many of my best friends growing up were all on depression meds and had varying degree of the disease; from one who was on constant suicide watch to another who never outwardly displayed any hint that she was struggling. While i was never diagnosed; I can’t be sure I shouldn’t have been. Growing up is tough and we are all happy and healthy now, so it just reminds me that things get better and while depression can be a life-long journey, there’s always ways to try and cope!
When I was 29 and she was 32, one of my closest friends tried to kill herself. She’d suffered from depression since college and had been hospitalized after previous suicide attempts, but had been doing well for years. A worried co-worker went to her house when she didn’t show up at work, found her, and got her to the hospital. I went through a long period thinking that I was responsible for what had happened because we had started to drift apart, and thinking that I should have seen the signs. She and I had a lot of talks about everything and really strengthened our friendship. The good news is that after a few more bumps, she got her medication worked out and is now happy and healthy, and has really grabbed hold of her life. Hers is one of the stories that has a happy ending, but two years ago I attended a funeral for a friend who lost her battle with depression.
I need to take myself out of the running for tickets because it turns out I won’t be in town that day. But thanks for helping bring attention to mental illness, which needs to be talked about so that people don’t consider it a shameful secret anymore!
I have suffered from depression and anxiety for over 13 years. It began when I was in college. I worked 2 part time jobs, and was maintaining a 3.9 grade point average so as to keep my scholarships. I got into a relationship that was full of drama, and it sent me over the edge. With a little help, I pulled it together and graduated with high honors from my bachelors program.
My struggle led me to enter graduate school to become a counselor. After I got my master’s degree, I worked as a case manager for kids with mental health and developmental issues. I also worked as a mobile therapist and behavior specialist for kids with mental health issues.
When I started dating the man I would later marry, we learned his dad had cancer. His dad really struggled with the diagnosis, and was depressed, even once his prognosis improved. One day, my boyfriend, (who is now my husband) was visiting me, and we got a call from his mom that she thought his dad was dead. Turns out, he had committed suicide. It was a heartbreaking time for us, as we were just getting engaged. We really learned to lean on each other for support, but it definitely took a toll on the entire family.
Throughout my life, mental health issues have been a major part of my experience, whether it was my own depression, or helping others deal with their own issues. I think it had made me a much more compassionate person.
Hey L,
I personally have struggled with seasonal depression and panic attacks since my teen years. Partly chemical/partly childhood trauma, my family has dealt with depression, anxiety and related substance abuse/eating disorders for decades. It has been difficult to keep myself positive while trying to reach out to friends and family who are also afflicted. Even close personal relationships can be toxic to me as I try to make sense of what often cannot be understood. I have seen the stigma of mental illness played out often since many times there is no accompanying physical ailment to illicit pity or understanding. When someone “looks normal” but fails to meet the expectations of society or his/her family it can be devastating and lead to a vicious cycle of blame, resentment and self loathing. I too am passionate about reaching out to others and trying to get out of my own head through volunteerism. Giving back to others and the acts of selfless kindness that SAL advocates helps people to realize that we are not alone. Thank you L for sharing so much of yourself to send out love to those who oftentimes do not feel so good about themselves. Thank you for using your voice and celebrity to help shed some light into the darkness of mental illness.
Yours in friendship and service,
(your) Affliate Agent LA
Im a therapist and work with mentally ill adults so this show really intrigues me! Mental illnesses, such as depression and anxiety, are so common and are nothing to be ashamed of. I agree we need to change our views and work to get rid of the stigma. We can start by not calling people crazy!
I’ve dealt with mental illness, be it my own or those of my family since I was born. My mother went through severe post-partum depression after the birth of me and my sister and my father was going through a drug addiction while she was pregnant with both of us. Luckily my mother left my father before his addiction got completely out of control and his abuse of her escalated. My sister has dealt with severe panic attacks and anxiety since she was a child and is making her way through college while dealing with the same mental illness’ she thought she’d escaped.
Throughout my life I’ve dealt with a lot of crappy biology and circumstance and I’ve suffered from PTSD, Bipolar II disorder, agoraphobia, bulimia and a generalized anxiety disorder.
I’ve always tried my hardest to look for something ‘good’ out there to inspire me and this play really has, it’s put a lot of information about mental illness out into the world and has opened a lot of doors for people.
My brother,Stephen, has ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder. When I was younger, I wanted nothing more than to be just like him when I grew up. But, as I got older, I realized he was different than everyone else. Living with a brother who is autistic has, although very frustrating, confusing, and lonely at times (when my mother was busy trying to help him and in result, leaving me to myself), it has been very rewarding. I love seeing how his face lights up when he sees me, I love having conversations with him (he’s so intelligent and he soaks up knowledge like a sponge), and I love him for who he is. I would never change him.
I have experienced mental illness in my life through my biological mother. The situations I encountered made me grow up faster than any child should while also helping to take care of my younger sibling. As a teen I was given a chance for a more normal life and have since chosen to pursue a career in Psychology and at present work with children across The Autism Spectrum, those with both behavioral and mental illness as well as having friends who struggle on a daily basis with mental illness. I have seen the worst and the best it brings but beyond anything I see the courage people have in creating a happy and functioning life for themselves and I am in awe. I am so glad to be a part of this community.
I’m not commenting for a chance to win the tickets, as much as I would enjoy seeing this play, (a bit too far to commute from SoCal) but just to share.
Mental Illness has most recently touched my life when my friends Linda & Dave lost their son last September. He was a gifted musician and only 20 years old when he suffered what they believe to be a severe schizophrenic break. This happened on a Monday. They did everything they could to get help for him, but since he was over 18, they could not have the access they needed. In the early morning of the following Saturday, he was hit by a car & killed.
In the aftermath of this tragic event, his parents have thrown themselves into Mental Health advocacy & bringing it out of the shadow of “shame”. They have started a Foundation in their son’s memory & are organizing a walk for mental health this May.
Along with another friend, I’m making a quilt for them to use for fund raising, and they have 4 mental health organizations involved in the walk too: NARSAD, NAMI, Autism Society of America, & Mental Health America. (As far as we know, this is the first time all of them have been involved in one event!)
If anyone would like more info on the event, they can visit the website at : http://www.jasontennies.org .
My mom has battled depression for years. She is now a mental health professional in a state prison system, helping the people that have never received care for their illnesses.
I suffer from depression and ADD (and very likely hoarding). I’m on meds for the depression. I couldn’t find an ADHD drug that worked–the last one I tried made me almost suicidal, so I stopped trying anything else. The combination of all these disorders makes it difficult to keep up with day to day chores around my house. People think I’m lazy, but they don’t understand what goes on in my head when I look at the stuff around me. Piles of papers and clothes the kids have outgrown. (No rotting food or anything like that. Just piles of stuff.) But I don’t let the kids bring friends over to the house because I can’t figure out how to deal with everything, and I’m ashamed of the state the house is in. I’ve watched a few episodes of those hoarding shows on TV, and I know exactly what they’re feeling. I can even tell what number they’re going to say their stress level is at, because I understand. The depression runs in my dad’s side of the family, and it hit me hard a few years ago and I’ve been on the meds ever since. Looking back, I realize I’ve had ADD since I was a kid. My husband also has ADD. My daughter is a “mini me” and I can see the signs of ADHD in her (and maybe a little of the hoarding). My son has Asperger’s and quite possibly ADHD. Mental illness sucks.
I am not commenting at a chance to win tickets (I don’t think I could get off work!) but I wanted to share my story. I have dealt with mental illness since I was born. You see my mom was in a horrible train accident before I was born. It left her with a brain injury and she had to learn everything over again. She did well, but was left with some significant mental illnesses that she either had or were brought on with the accident, including, as far as I know, schizophrenia and depression. My parents divorced when I was little, probably around 3, and we went to live with my grandparents. My mom was in and out of hospitals. My grandma did what she could do shield my sister and I from her irratic behavior. Eventually we went to live with my dad. When we were able to see my mom, we couldn’t tell her we were coming or she would not sleep for days she would get so exicted to see us. She passed away 17 years ago from heart problems. My grandma recently told me she wasn’t expected to live long due to the strong medications they had her on. I wish I had understood mental illness back when I was a teenager. I was not so nice back then, it was easier to pretend it didn’t exist. She passed when I was 20, and I was not quite responsible enough to cherish the time I had with her. I know she knew I loved her, but not a day goes by that I don’t feel that I should have been more understanding. I know I was only a kid, but it still bothers me.
I have not had any personal experiences with mental illness sufferers but I have someone very close to me who has had mental illness impact her life. My best and longest friend has another best friend who has been suffering with severe depression for the past few years. She spends 3/4 of the day sleeping and has attempted suicide twice. My friend has been there for her, driving the 4 hours to get to her both times she has called to say that she has taken something to end her life. I see how much pain this puts my friend through, trying to be there for someone who is not able to want to help herself. Listening to my friend’s struggle with wanting to help her friend has made me see how serious mental illness can be and how it effects not only the patient but the people closest to her.
I learned about a wrongfully imprisoned man this past summer. He has been in jail for nearly 20 years for a crime he didn’t commit- because he has a mental illness. He can be easily persuaded and was coerced into confessing. It’s sad situations like these that are so frustrating and make me feel helpless. There is always something that can be done to help others.
Nice giveaway!
I work on an ambulance [also a former deputy coroner]. I see the effects of mental illness frequently. I see the devastation the families face in dealing w/a loved one going through the pain of mental illness and I see the horrors they go through when a loved one commits suicide. It’s heartbreaking to watch as they try to cope w/something that has no easy answer. But, it’s also sad to see those who have mental illness. They often don’t understand why they feel the way they feel.. think the way they think. Mental illness is a complicated array of illnesses. It sometimes takes a great deal of work, trial and error to get the correct medication for each person. Seeing them go through that as they try to battle an unseen demon is touching. I certainly feel for them and for the families as well.
My ex husband is bi polar. The first 12 years of our marriage he was undiagnosed. I (and everyone else) thought his quirky personality was “just the way he was” though it often led to confusion when we got into an argument that defied rationality. About 8 years in the depression started. He threatened suicide but refused help. He got worse and worse, his mood bouncing up and down, switching without warning. Rationality was out the window. Predictability was out the window. Stability was out the window. He worked on and off, but in on periods, where he grew increasingly manic, he would blow through cash at alarming rates. (THOUSANDS of dollars gone to…nowhere). Finally he had the most severe manic episode that escalated into a psychotic break. He thought the spirits of dead relatives (including my recently deceased mother) were talking to him. He thought there were vampires roaming the city. He thought the church next door was pumping poison gas into our house. He moved everything in the house 10 times a day, created weird shrines in little corners, set our computer on the porch with a packed suitcase because he knew that someone was coming to take him to Scotland, locked me out of the house at 4 am because I was a heathen whore, and finally kept our kids out of school and went on an adventure. That was the day I sought help and figured out through my therapist (I was suffering from anxiety–imagine that!) what was going on. It was also Dec. 18th so I decided to gut it out until after Christmas day before seeking a 302. Mistake. On Xmas morning he lost it. He started screaming, threw the tree out of the house, hit me, tried to take the kids, and stood on the roof of our house yelling (at 6 am) that I was a heathen whore who was stealing his children. We had him 302d that day and he was diagnosed bipolar. He has never really recovered. We divorced several years later and both myself and my oldest suffered from a form of PTSD from year or two leading up to the break, and the time after. He’s been hospitalized in 8 years probably at least 30 times and tried to commit suicide twice. Though we are divorced I’m still his main caretaker, as he really has no one else. Its been devastating to our family, to him especially, but to myself and our children as well. Mental Illness is the cruelest disease. My husband didn’t leave me, he didn’t die, but he transformed into someone that couldn’t relate, couldn’t function, couldn’t participate in the family. It was death without dying.
Partway through grad school, I experienced a clinical episode of depression and anxiety that completely rocked my world (and my husband’s). It took (takes) a lot of work, but I’m grateful for effective treatment (like cognitive behavioral therapy) that has allowed me to both explore and better understand the underlying thought patterns that affect my well-being. Sometimes I see other grad students struggling and wish they would get the same help. I try to be open about talking about my experience because there is still so much stigma surrounding even common mental illness (like depression and anxiety).
I work have worked in the mental health field for the last 8 years working at an inpatient hospital, outpatient and research. I worked with a variety of disorders from depression, MR, autism and schizophrenia. I am currently in a masters of counseling program so that I can continue helping people with mental illness.
My best guy friend has a history of mental illness in his family. His father and brother both have schizophrenia. His father has had multiple meltdowns about the walls closing in and that their neighbors have tried poison the family. This has caused some issues in his family. However, lately he is working with his brother’s symptoms. He has had to resort to hiding the knives and locking his bedroom door because his brother is destructive when he has fits. His brother has poured water on his cell phone and laptop (both ruined) and he has broken my friend’s guitar because he wanted to. My role lately in all this has been late night phone calls where my friend calls me and talks about it all. I’m one of the few people he trusts to talk about all of this.
I first learned about mental illness shortly after my mom had her kidney transplant and it didn’t work. She had an incredibly hard time when her body rejected the kidney and was soon placed on Lithium. She struggled with depression until she died three years later.
Shortly after her death, I tried to kill myself. My father was verbally abusive and very controlling. I was 16 and all of a sudden was in charge of raising my then 8 year old sister, running a house and going to school. After a raging fight with my father, I simply crumbled. I couldn’t go on another minute, let alone another day. I took a whole mess of pills and prayed that I wouldn’t wake up. A friend found me and promised me that things would get better, I just had to stick around.
In the 22 years since then, I’ve been through so much and fought through the depression that at times seemed unbearable. I have seen that there is always some sun behind the dark clouds…you just have to stick around.
My Dad started showing signs of dementia about 2 years ago. So we found a nice assisted living facility close to home. He kept on walking away from the assisted living facility and we were told that we had to look for another place where he could be placed in a locked unit. At the second place, a new worker started to abuse my Dad, so we removed him immediately. We finally found a third place and he seems to like living there. It is hard to see your once big strong Dad becoming more and more child like, and I have to accept the role of parent. I am very grateful that he still remembers our names but I know the day will come when he won’t and that will be tough. I pray that they find a cure for dementia & alzheimers soon.
Hi Laura. Miss you.
I was going to write my standard rant, something like what I wrote here last fall:
http://stormingyourcastle.com/2010/09/07/vent/
But in re-reading that now, I just feel sad. I feel sad for the me who wrote that because she was upset, even though I’m doing quite okay now. And I feel sad that there will no doubt be a time in the future when she resurfaces. One of the things my writing (through journals, blogs, whatever) has given me is a fascinating, painful, embarrassing and yes, sad, permanent record of my own dabbling with mental illness, therapy, medication, conviction and triumph since I was (believe it or not) seven years old. I am proud of where I am today and what I have accomplished, but I still keep those journals just in case I ever need to remind myself of the me I struggled with before.
A.
As a child my Mother was a daycare provider for children and adults with developmental disabilities. As a toddler and into my elementary school years I would go to the daycare and play with the other children. I learned first hand how mental illness affects families when I found out my Aunt had multiple mental health diagnoses. As a close knit family we would go on a yearly camping trip. When I was younger it was embarassing to see her act, yell, or say things in public. There were also multiple nights my Mother would have to take my Aunt to the hospital because she’d tried committing suicide or she’d been self injurious. As I’ve gotten older I’ve come to understand more about different illnesses. In fact, I now work in the mental health field. I’ve worked with dual diagnosis clients suffering with substance abuse issues as well as having depression, bipolar disorder, schizophernia etc. My absolute favorite clients to work and take care of are autistic and developmentally delayed children and adults. I have stacks of artwork that people have made me. I have dozens of cute, funny, and sometimes sad stories I can recall. I honestly can’t imagine my life if it weren’t for mental health.
I suffered from debilitating anxiety for years. It wasn’t until I figured out I had CD and went gluten free that I learned that it was possible to beat it. I’m so grateful now for the rest that my mind feels each night now.
Anxiety runs rampant in my family. (Shame no one else believes me that being GF could help them.) Unfortunately addiction and alcoholism also run within my family on both sides. And as many know, addiction often goes hand-in-hand with bipolar disorder. Awareness is important and shows like “Next to Normal” help with that.
my husband committed suicide 13 years ago. although we had been divorced for quite some time, i was designated “next of kin” due to the ages of our two children, a daughter and a son. having to tell them that he had taken his own life was the worst day of my life — and watching their pain and how they have individually found their way through it has been an ongoing and sobering experience, not only for me, but for all of us who love them. my son struggled openly with the shame of his dad’s actions, while my daughter seemed to be more internal. she and i participated in the “out of the darkness” overnight walk the first year it was held here in seattle, raising $2500 for the national foundation for suicide prevention. walking 23 miles through the night with hundreds of other people-who wore beads around their necks in various colors signifying the relationship they had with someone who had committed suicide-was an amazing experience. they say that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. all i know is that it forever changes the lives of the survivors who are left to ask “why?”
PS) if i was to be lucky enough for these tickets i would ask that they be donated to someone deserving since i am out on the west coast……
A few weeks ago my friend in college overdosed on pills in an act of suicide which failed. But, it did leave him with a mental disability. He was bullied and tormented because he was gay. It kills me to see him like this.
I have dealt with mental illness my whole life. My mom is depressed, and my sister has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. My whole life has been a struggle of how to deal with it all. Which medications help, which medications do nothing, and worst of all: which medications do too much.
My mom has had her depression under control for most of my life. My siblings have unfortunately experienced a harsher side to her illness. There is a lot of resentment towards her for that reason. Every issue is immediately my moms fault, in their opinion.
Which brings me to my sister. Her whole life she’s never been herself. I have no idea who she really is because every time she makes a new friend, she adopts their personality, likes, dislikes, etc. She’s been in counseling as long as I can remember. She struggles with alcohol and drug abuse and usually I’m afraid that anytime I say something she doesn’t want to hear, she’ll be pushed over the edge. Its hard to live like this.
My parents are moving soon and they recently told her that in the new house, she wont have a room. She’s 26 years old and doesn’t have her own car, no savings to speak of, and has no intentions of bettering herself. She works a part time job at Starbucks and every cent she makes is used for going out with her “friends”. My parents are attempting to stop any enabling that is happening. But I’m genuinely worried for her.
Anyways, I know a lot of people struggle with mental illness. Its sad how common it really is and how many people are affected by it. Thats why I love N2N so much. It speaks so many truths about how hard it is to love and care for someone with mental illness.
My whole family has dealt with depression in one form or another. Mine took the form of depression and separation anxiety, which first showed itself when I was in college. My worst episode occurred when my family dropped me off for the start of my second year. When they left, I had a panic attack — to this day I don’t really know what happened, but it ended up with me leaving school for a couple weeks. Over the years, I’ve figured out how to recognize and control my depression and anxiety. My greatest hurdle was coming out as gay to my friends and family — it was a huge weight off my shoulders that has really helped me realize how happy I could really be
This is a wonderful giveaway. I would love to see Next to Normal – Thank you Secret Agent L!
I’m an English teacher in small town Pennsylvania, and I have been opening up the discussion in my classes about mental illnesses through the literature we read. To name a few, there’s The Catcher in the Rye, Flowers for Algernon, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, the poetry of Sylvia Plath, The Turn of the Screw, and, as of last year, Next to Normal.
I’m actually “the first teacher in the world to bring Next to Normal to the classroom” according to producer Pat Catullo. When I saw the show for the first time on Broadway in June 2009, it #1 connected to me on a personal level (SPOILER ALERT!) because of my 20 year old brother passing way from a 10 hour case of menangitis exactly a year prior to my 1st n2n experience; and #2, it was EXACTLY what I needed in the classroom, being that I’ve taught EVERYTHING the script and the production references (besides the script allusions, Alice typically reads Who’s Afraid…? at the beginning of the show, Kyle Dean read Catcher in the attic during I Miss the Mountains, and doesn’t the playbill art for n2n look remarkable similar to that of the Dover Thrift version of The Turn of the Screw??? (just Google Image search the title… it’s the first hit.)
Anyways, many of my friends suffer from mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, and manic depression. Many of my students do as well, and n2n in the classroom has opened them up to discuss their lives. It has also opened the eyes of their peer who don’t know much about mental illnesses.
Thanks for reading!
When I was 22 years old, I told my best friend that I had been sexually abused as a child. She was the first person I had ever told. A year later, when I told a therapist, who was treating me for bulimia, I was diagnosed with dysthymia – mild depression. I was so determined to deal with the issues and heal myself. My life was about recovery and I felt like I’d be on a roller coaster forever. I was not afraid to talk about “pink elephants” if it meant figuring out how to recover. Looking back now, 15 years later, chock full of therapy, various anti-depressants, numerous missions to find alternatives and a great deal of pain and suffering, I am on a road to peace and want others who struggle to be at peace. I distinguished how I was letting the depression define so much of who I was and how my behaviors impacted the people in my life. On the outside I was still outgoing, driven, successful and seemingly okay. On the inside, I was insecure, angry, selfish, somewhat unconscious and totally self-destructive…for years! I (finally) realized how the story of the abuse was connected and still had a major impact on my self-esteem, my happiness and the true success of all my relationships. Today, I have tremendous love, forgiveness, strength, aliveness and compassion in my heart. A person’s wellness is a lifelong journey – be it mental or any other realm – and with this message, I take a stand for people to be courageous, reach out for help and share your story with someone you trust. I know now that there are ways to live a life free of suffering, and I believe that we all have the ability to learn and know happiness, each in our own way! Thank you, Secret Agent L, for the difference you make in the world!
In 9th grade I was going to a tiny private school when I started experiencing depression. I had no idea what was wrong with me so I was constantly freaking out about how I never wanted to be around anyone or do anything when I’d be a really social person for so long. The school didn’t have health classes so I’d never really learned anything about mental disorders at that time and my parents didn’t think that things depression and anxiety were real, they just thought the current generation was really spoiled and liked to be whiny. Needless to say, by the end of the school year all of the confusion and negative feelings weighed me down to the point where I thought that suicide was the only answer. Thankfully, I tried it at school and not at home (because I figured my parents would come bugging me and I wouldn’t succeed or something) and a girl in my class found me in the bathroom and reported me to the principal. I got expelled the next day (private schools are able to do whatever they want as consequences for things that they don’t think are okay) and spent my summer in counseling where I got diagnosed but never medicated.
The change of scenery that going to a new school provided was good for me for a while. I had been diagnosed with depression AND I had health class so I knew what was wrong with me, even if my parents didn’t really buy it. It was a lot off my chest. But soon my feelings were overwhelming me again and I self-harmed all through high school. I was HUGE into my school’s music program, burying myself in ALL things vocal, and I was great and everyone knew who I was and that made me so happy. So when I realized that even that seemed boring and painful to participate in I figured it was time for something to actually be done and I talked to my mom one night alone, because I was afraid of my dad’s reaction, and after a lot of convincing she allowed me to make a doctor’s appointment with a psychologist.
It took almost a year to get my pills just right. October 2009 it just like everything was going wrong and I tried to commit suicide again. It was on Halloween in my freshman year of college. My roommates came back from whatever party they’d been at and called the hospital and next thing I knew they were committing me there. I was out in a few days and started therapy all over again, this time with someone I was actually comfortable with as well as outpatient therapy at a local mental institution and my parents finally realized something was actually wrong and started supporting me. I started taking my pills diligently, as I’d hardly ever taken them everyday like I should have. I was good for the rest of the year.
In June I moved in to an apartment by my college and it was then that I started realizing I had something else wrong. I had panic attacks in the car, when I had to walk into a store alone, and almost every night I called my mom hysterical for no real reason. When I came home in July for my birthday I went to my psychologist and get anxiety medication and things got so much better and I actually have been functioning relatively normally for the last eight months. However, there’s one downfall. My boyfriend doesn’t believe in taking pills for anything. No headaches, no illnesses, nothing. So he doesn’t really support me when I do have a problem with my mental health and he doesn’t understand that it’s a serious thing and he actually was ashamed and embarrassed to tell his family about it at his birthday party in August. That’s why I want so badly to take him to see Next to Normal. I really want him to understand how serious mental illness is and how can affect a family. When I discovered the musical my senior year of high school I took comfort in it, it never left my car, my iTunes, my friend to this blames me because he knows every word to it. I was so thrilled there was a character out there who I could really understand the actions of and it showed me things that would be frightening to see happen in your own life because of your problems. I’m mostly comfortable with myself and my problems and talking about them now, I just wish the man I’m about to start a life with would be on the same page. And I love my family so much for finally understanding and supporting me or I wouldn’t have made it through my last two years after heading off to college.
Thanks for reading!
My wife has been D&A counselor for 7 years now. Since I have been with her I have seen the pain that drugs and mental illness have taken on families and the community. Metal Illness funding is one of the first things gov. is cutting when they deal with budget issues. When funding is cut they are not getting the services that they need such as job training, medications, food assistance, and therapy. More people need to be aware that when funding is distributed to the community it is going to the people who need it most. These programs are not waste and should not be cut because times are tough. Times are always tough for the mentally ill.
My sister has suffered with mental illness since she was a child. At first, she was just labeled “sad” or “troubled”. But she started having eating disorders, and finally when she was 14, she went to my parents and said, “If you don’t put me in a hospital, I’m going to kill myself.” She has struggled with depression and bipolar disorder, as well as borderline personality disorder, for nearly her whole life. I have struggled watching her. It’s so very difficult to watch someone you love be unable to love herself. I can’t bear to ennumerate her struggles her, but there were some scary times when I dreaded a phone call from my parents about her.
Now, she is a successful young woman living on her own, happily engaged, and running her own business. I have no doubts that she still feels a shadow over her life from time to time, but through support and love, she has been able to come so far.
My husband and I have seen N2N – last October in NYC. We knew what we were getting into when we bought the tickets. We had the soundtrack memorized. We’ve long been Broadway fans, and when we learned about a new show that told the story of a first child’s death, we wanted to see it ourselves. Our baby girl was diagnosed with a fatal neurodegenerative disorder (Batten Disease – please visit http://www.bdsra.org to learn about it — there is no treatment and no cure, and the only thing we can do is raise awareness and hope that funds for research will follow). Celia, four now, has been under the care of Hospice for two years, and although different from Gabe’s sudden death in the show, we could relate so well with Dan and Diana’s feelings. As one might imagine, while our daughter lost skills like walking and talking and eating, we visited some very dark places ourselves. We have survived, and so has she, in large part because we have family close by who have helped with her care in huge ways – and because they’ve cared for us, too. And although we still live each day in close proximity to death, we are LIVING within the confines of dying, finding joy in unexpected places, cherishing our time with her.
Our son Tucker, two, did not inherit the disease. He shines a brilliant light on our days. He also sings Superboy and the Invisible Girl at the top of his lungs
We would love to send grandparents or aunts – Celie’s “extra” caregivers – to the show in April. We all need plenty of “feel good” stuff, but sometimes a show like N2N, a “feel everything” show, leaves a person feeling even better.
In my sophomore year of high school, I slowly became friends with this guy Kevin. We were completely different people, but found empathy and comfort in sharing our experiences coming out as gay. One day, while talking over an online messenger about why he had been so stressed out recently, he accidentally revealed to me that his “alters are getting out of hand”. He then said that he probably shouldn’t have said that and refused to tell me what he meant. I decided to find out for myself. After much research online, I discovered that the “alters” he was referring to were actually his alternate personalities. Kevin had something known as Dissociative Identity Disorder (incorrectly referred to as Multiple Personality Disorder). Over the next few weeks, he began to tell me about these other personalities. One was James, a hypersexual prostitute and partier driven by hedonism. Lemm, the mildest of the three, was softspoken, intelligent, and meticulous. The darkest of them all, ironically, was Angel. Though he was poetic and artistic, Angel was a Sanguinarian. Sanguinarians are people who describe themselves as human beings with a compulsion, or need, to consume blood for reasons that are not primarily related to eroticism or emotional satisfaction. To make matters worse with Angel, he nearly assaulted our best friend Kelly on the opening night of our drama production outside our theatre. Needless to say, with Kevin torn between these three personalities, I was scared for his life. The horrible consequences of his careless personalities’ actions were endless. He was risking STIs having sex with countless closeted homosexuals in the area for money (including a couple priests), risking the transferral of blood born pathogens and other infections through drinking and sharing blood, and the legal consequences of all of the above. I started to become overridden with anxiety any time I thought of him. At warm up during swim practices I would start vomiting uncontrollably, sometimes up to 11 times. My attention would falter in classes we didn’t share as I began to wonder if he was okay.
Like Diana, Kevin decided that he needed to get away in order to sort out all of his issues. Though he transferred elsewhere for junior year, we still communicate regularly as seniors today. Thankfully, through all of this, there has been light. Kevin’s DID mysteriously disappeared shortly after he started life at his new school.
My father recently passed away. He was my dad, my best friend, and my hero. I was handling everything well until the day AFTER his funeral. I just lost it. I could not function. I was taken to a hospital and seen by psychiatrist. It was the lowest point of my life. I always felt I could handle anything that came my way until that day. It has been several months and I have been getting better everyday. I have a great support system and the love of family and friends. My experience taught me that even the toughest guys can get knocked down and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem comes when you refuse to get up… I GOT UP !!!
[...] I was contacted by the Pittsburgh Cultural Trust about collaborating on the Pittsburgh engagement of the national tour of Broadway’s hit show Next to Normal, I [...]